Kickshaws November 2013. - Free Online Library (2024)

~ AN OVERALL UNDERSTANDING

Bill Brandt discusses the difference between two antonyms: "Thewords 'over' and 'under' seem to describe oppositeconditions. There are overachievers and under achievers. You can beoverworked or under worked. An underpass is a road that goes beneath anoverpass. Clothes worn underneath are things like underwear and undershorts, while clothes worn on the outside, are things like overcoats andoveralls. While 'over' sometimes has a positive connotationand 'under' has a negative connotation, something that isoverrated may not be as good as something that is underrated. Sometimesthey both have a negative connotation, for example food that is eitherundercooked or overcooked will not taste good. In some cases words thatseem to be related are not; for example all undertakings are not done byundertakers.

"There are also many 'over' and 'under'words that do not seem to have an opposite counterpart, such as:

 A conversation can be overheard but never underheard. You canoverlook something, but you cannot underlook something. The weather canbe overcast but never undercast. You can overcome a problem, but if itis unsolvable it is not undercome. If you pay something late it wasoverdue, but if you pay it ahead of time it is not underdue. If you are aggressive you can beoverbearing, but if you are restrained you are not underbearing. If you are not expected to win you arethe underdog, but if you are expected to win you are not the overdog. If you do something badit can be called underhanded, but if you do something good it is not called overhanded. If you get in the way ofsomeone working you may be underfoot, but if you are not in the way you are not overfoot. If you elect to havesurgery you can undergo an operation, but if you do not elect to have the surgery you did not overgo the operation.When you go where the trees are small you are in the underbrush, but if you go where the trees are big you are not in the overbrush. 

~ROSE ATE A STONE TAIL

"Sigh-end-tests lass weak dish-covered sum-cling knew,"Bill Brandt writes. "Aston wit rye-dings an tree lane-witches. Eatvast aw gouda cling. Hare east on eggs-ample off watt ate sad."

 N-D AGN C N ILN CT RIIS EE XLNC XAVR DDIRR 2 8 M N X D CT S NN 4DX D CT FN NE NMLL 4 D M EE XLNC S 2 8 X-NGG End die Age-eon see end. Mend see-tea rye-says As excel-and-seeeggs-a-viewer tea-sires two it him an eights Duh see-tea ass hands furtea-eights Duh sea-tea ass-ant an-eye an-eye-malls fur tea him Asexcel-and-see as two it eights an cheatsIn the Aegean Sea an island city rises. His Excellency Xavier desires toeat ham and eggs. The city has hens for the eggs. The city hasn'tany animals for the ham. His Excellency has to eat eggs and cheese. 

~ GENTLER GENDERS

According to Bill, "the state of Washington recently mandatedthat some words were too sexist and had to be replaced. In Washington,'freshmen' are now called 'first year students' and'penmanship' is now called 'hand writing.' In-someother places firemen are now called fire fighters and policemen are nowcalled police officers. Even the mailman who became the postman is-nowcalled a-mail carrier. I do not know what became of all thefishermen.

"If that kind of emancipation spreads, will we no longer beable to visit Manhattan, Manchester, Manchuria, the Himalayas, orNormandy? Will Hercules need to change-his name? What-happens to all theHispanic folks? Will they be left with just panic? And what aboutHershey? Will the bar be lowered- on- that too? This is all starting-toleave a bad taste in my mouth. Will I no longer be able to eat herbs,herring or a popsicle while I listen to pop music? Will we no longer beable to fly in helicopters, or fill our balloons with helium? Willofficers no longer be able to command their troops? Will the doctor nolonger be able to treat my hernia? Will l no. longer be able to get amanicure?

"Our language is .part of our human heritage. Is changing thelanguage part of mankind's historical manifest destiny? If so, whohas been given the mandate to manage this task? Will a manual be createdto document all the changes? It will be a monumental task, but will theperson who drafts the manuscript be considered to be a hero? Will theresults be popular, or will there be a boycott? "If people do notaccept the whole shebang will they be considered to be heretics?

"I don't want to take a shellacking over this, so for themoment I will mind my manners and not create any shenanigans, or appearto go mental over this. I will just-retire to my mansion, become ahermit and not mention this any more."

~ CONSONANTAL PAIRS

Jeremy Morse has been looking in Chambers for "words startingwith a pair of consonants. The great majority of them are native Englishwords, deriving from roots in Old German, Old. Ductch, Latin, or Greek.Of the 43 opening, consonantal pairs that they exhibit, 34 might becalled common, as follows:

 BL BLACK BR BROWN CH CHASE CL CLAMP CR CROAK DRDRAFT DW DWARF FL FLANK FR FROZE GH GHOST GL GLEAM GNGNARL GR GRAVE KN KNEEL PH PHONE PR PROOF PS PSALM PSPSALM RH RHYME SC SCOLD SH SHALL SK SKEIN SL SLUMP SMSMART SN SNOOT SP SPURN SQ SQUAT ST STORK SW SWELL THTHESE TR TRUCK TW TWICE WH WHERE WR WROTE 

"The other, rarer 9 all derive from Greek:

 BD BDELLIUM CN CNEMIAL CT CTENOID KL KLEPTOMANIA KRKRYPTON MN MNEMONIC PN PNEUMONIA PT PTOMAINE TM TMESIS 

"But modern English has .become very cosmopolitan, welcomingforeign words to such an extent that the 43 native opening consonantpairs are actually outnumbered by 47 immigrant pairs from 25 foreignlanguages (including modern German and a U.S. coinage) as follows:

 BH BHANG (HINDI) BW BWANA (SWAHILI) CSCSARDAS (HUNGARIAN) CW CWM (WELSH) MH MHORR(ARABIC) MR MRIDANG (SANSKRIT) MW MVULE (SWAHILI)MZ MZEE (SWAHILI) CZ CZAR (RUSSIAN) DH DHOBI(HINDI) DJ DJINN (ARABIC) DS DSO (TIBETAN) DVDVANOVA (SANSKRIT) DZ DZIGGETAI (MONGOLIAN) FJ FJORD(NORWEGIAN) GJ GJU (OLD NORSE) GW GWYNIAD(WELSH) HW HWYL (WELSH) JH JHALA (SANSKRIT) KHKHAN (ARABIC) KV KVASS (RUSSIAN) KW KWEZA(BANTU) LH LHERZOLITE (BASQUE) LL LLAMA (QUECHON) LWLWEI (BANTU) MB MBIRA (SHONA) MG MGANGA(SWAHILI) NG NGAIO (MAORI) NH NHANDOU (TUPI) PFPFENNIG (GERMAN) PZ PZAZZ (U.S.A.) SB SBIRRO(ITALIAN) SD SDRUCCIOLA (ITALIAN) SF SFORZANDO (ITALIAN)SG SGRAFFITO (ITALIAN) SV SVELTE (FRENCH) GMGMELINITE (GERMAN) TJ TJANTING (INDOESNIAN) TS TSETSE(TSWANA) TZ TZIGANY (HUNGARIAN) VL VLEI(AFRIKAANS) VR VRAISEMBLANCE (FRENCH) ZH ZHO (TIBETAN)ZL ZLOTY (POLISH) ZW ZWIEBACK (GERMAN)" 

~LOUIS PHILLIPS' DICTIONARY

1. Podestrian--a person who walks down the street listening to hisor her Ipod.

2. Vaccinema--films devoted to plagues and the spread of diseasee.g. Contagion)

3. Rebustibles--falsies

4. Premisses--Female embroyos

5. Prethinking--Thinking before one really thinks

6. Kvetlching--Complaiong about one's fortune as foretold bythe casting of Chinese coins

7. Hambrosia--overly sweet pig meat

8. Golfling--making love at night on a golf course

9. Palindrama--a play that makes as much sense if staged from thefinal act to the first, or the first act to the last,

10. Fastenating obsessed with zippers and buttons

~ QUICK HITS BY LOUIS PHILLIPS

SOCRATES AMONG THE ATHENIANS

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 * 

1. The fifth word is fourth in this sentence.

2. If BACKWARDS is written backwards is it still backwards?

3. EVEN contains an even number of letters. Is that odd?

4. Why is UNLIMITED limited to only 9 letters?

5. Have you noticed that when UPSIDE DOWN is spelled out it isusually not upside down.

6. If MISSPELLED is spelled incorrectly does ir remainmisspelled?

 * 

DELIVERED ODE REVILED!

YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THIS VERSE MUCH BETTER IF YOU KNOW THAT OPS ISTHE NAME OF SATURN'S WIFE

 Up, Ops! Ops hops up. Ops drops Mops. Oops, Ops! 

~ LONG TRANSPOSITIONS

In 1990 Jeff Grant wrote to the Guinness Book of World Records aboutthe possibility of including the 19 letter transpositions

representationalism/misrepresentational

in their Language section. They accepted the evidence provided andthe pair appeared in the 1991 edition of the Guinness book under LongestAnagrams (non-scientific).

Recently he realised that this record can be extended to 22,letterwords with the pair below:

nonrepresentationalism/nonmisrepresentational

The first term is listed in Random House Dictionary, 2nd Edition,1986, and the second appears in a nice piece of legalese in thetranscript of a court case recorded on the Net as follows:

"To argue in. effect, because there are nonmisrepresentationalforms of conduct that can in effect constitute illegal procurementirrespective of whether there is a misrepresentation."[www.oyez.orglcases, Kungys v. United States (1986)--Oral Reargument,Transcript]

~ SUPERCHALLENGE

Jeff sent his thoughts on the Kickshaws superchallenge: "Tofind a transposable first name, last name and city name seems possiblebut the closest I can find so far is RONALD ARNOLD of DALTON, Georgia(www.whiteapages.com). If only there was one in ORLAND, California!

Still with personal names, this morning in our home town ofHastings, New Zealand, my wife Pat noticed a courier van with thedriver's name on the side--RIKI KIRIKIRI. This is of Maori origin.I wonder if there are names longer than 12 letters using just threedifferent letters?

~ SUPERCHALLENGE REPLY

Jim Puder replies to the superchallenge: "In the lastKickshaws, in connection with Jeff Grant's remarkable discovery ofan actual person whose 8-letter first name transposes into his 8-lettersurname (REGINALD DEARUNG of Hammond, Indiana), you posed asuperchallenge to readers, a part of which was to come up with atransposable firest, last and city name. As long as real examples arenot insisted upon, this does not seem too hard a challenge. Were weliving in an onomastically ideal world, we would expect to find, in theU.S.,

an OREN NERO residing in RENO, Nevada,

a NEMO MOEN mushing in NOME, Alaska,

a LAVONA VALONA abiding in AVALON, California,

a RONALD ROLAND ARNOLD LANDOR living in ORLAND, California,

and a NORMA MORAN and a RAMON ROMAN cohabiting in MANOR, Texas.

Internationally, there spring to mind "ANVIL" ALVIN LAVINof VILNA (or Vilnius), Lithuania,

hamburger mogul Ray Kroc's Irilsh cousin, ROCK KROC ofCORK,

MILA and LIAM LIMA, who send us mail from MALI,

siblings ARNO, ARON, NORA and RONA ROAN of ORAN, Algeria,

and fanatical onomasticist NOEL LENO, who has successively lived inLEON, France, LEON, Spain and, to complete his orthographic trifecta,cosmopolitan LEON, Iowa, which is not only the county seat of DecaturCounty, but also the home of a major rodeo which for many years now hasbeen voted Iowa's Rodeo of the Year.

"Incidentally, while the foregoing might correctly be referredto as an exercise in onomastics, if it had been limited to personalnames only it might have more precisely been called an amusem*nt inanthroponomics. Merriam Webster defines anthroponomy as the branch ofonomastics that consists of the study of personal names, and if we wishto impress with our erudition we should probably make a note of thisfact.

~ NEW SUPERCHALLENGE

"In musing upon Anil's semantically similar deletion pairplaster / paster," Jim writes, "it occurred to me that thereis a third word, pilaster, that is not too far removed, conceptually,from plaster. Of course, real pilasters, being load-bearing structures,would be unlikely to be made of plaster, but what about fake ones? Fakepilasters in a movie set, say, might .easily-be plastered-over wood.Thinking along these illness, I came up with this sentence containing aneight-word addition, cascade:

Isn't Pete's pa Pa's past paste paster, plasterpilaster (pilasters and caryatids both, actually) painter Paul?

"So here's a new superchallenge: Can anyone devise asentence containing an addition (not a trans addition) or deletioncascade of nine or more words?

~ PRIMING THE CONTRONYM

Browsing in Merriam-Webster's unabridged recently," Jimsays, "I came across a prime example of a contranym, one that Idon't recall whether contranym connoisseur Anil has-previouslynoted herein or not. In M-W, the term God's country is given threedefinitions. The first two, which seem to suggest a 19th centuryAmerican-origin-for the term., are as follows:

god's country (g usu. cap.)

a: an area of civilization (as a city) away from the frontier

b: a place away from a. city : esp: the open. country

"Oh, my. Not a lot of prescriptive guidance here, is there? Iwonder, is there a theologian in the house?"

~ ROCKET BOYS: THE LIMERICK

"Rocket Boys," Ove Michelson explains, "was the titleof a 1998 book of memoirs by NASA engineer Homer Hickam, Jr., played byJake Gyllendaal in the film version titled October Sky. The authorexplained-that his producer (for Universal Pictures) decided on theanagrammed title (a "cinemanagram") so that it would havegreater appeal to female moviegoers.

 Beginning with mere Davy Crockett toys, Then greased, as wetinkered through sprocket noise, But to make something fly As in OCTOBER SKY And the anagram taken from ROCKET BOYS? 

~ NAME THE MUSE OF WORDPLAY: A CONTEST

"Can you remember who was the Muse of Word Play?" Anilwonders. "We owe her big and don't even know her name. Ipropose a naming contest, to be judged by the editor and/or theKickshaws editor. If you had life and history to live over again, whatwould you name her?

"Here are my candidates. I'm giving a lot to increase theodds of winning my own contest!

 Muse Um (Um, where she belongs?) Logotia ("Logol" for short and for Patindromicon'ssake. For fun if not authenticity, it beats Jeff's Pal2 entry for Logol: part of a place name in Ethopia.) Playmate of the Ear (and eye; aye, I) Pollyanagrammasia PollyWannaWordCracker Arepo (Most apt for the title but not so well known; in fact, nobodyknows who s/he was. But s/he sure knew how to rotate words and letters.) Polynomnia Polyhomnia Miseuterpe (not Miss Euterpe) Erranus Colliady Clayo Playo (Muse of Moutding and Modelling Playdough*) (*Playdough is the Oz name for modelling clay and signals that logotogists don't get paid real money for it. Please sendyour entries to the Name Our Muse Contest to the Kickshaws editor. Prize: pride.)" 

~ PALINDROMIC PERFECTION

Straw? No, too stupid a fad. I put soot on warts.

Anil wants to take another look at the palindrome above: "This,from Bergerson's Palindromes and Anagrams (p. 89), probably byLeigh Mercer, deserves a renewed appreciation. It's my pick as thevery best of the long list of pal sentences on pp. 82-92. It'sfunny and so natural sounding. Soot is hilarious yet totally believableas a typical folk remedy. And it's perfect structurally, using norepeated words, proper names, abbreviations, nonce words or spellings,obscure words or meanings or need to explain, incorrect grammar,unnatural word order or awkward or incomplete sentences that mar otherlonger palindromes. Perfectionists might complain that the first two"sentences" aren't, grammatically Pfui! I callthem"natural" sentences, totally believable Mod Grammar (whichgoes back centuries). What's your favourite longerpalindrome?"

~ ANAGRAM-UNIT PALINDROME

Deep rival? Sadly, vile evil lady's prevailed.

This new form by Anil "is like a word-unit palindrome butinstead of repeating the corresponding words (or phrases) the repeatsare anagrams of each other. Successive layers of anagram pairs can bebuilt up from the middle or from the two ends with endless laterinsertions possible along the way, just like in normal palindroming. Ifpalindroming can be considered normal! (None of my dictionaries evenconsider it a word!)"

~ CURTAILMENT AND APHORISM

Anil has come up with this logological parody of DorothyParker's famous saying "Men seldom make passes at girls whowear glasses."

Men seldom make dimples in girls who wear pimples.

He wonders if prostitutes with pimples are pimpless.

~ ALL WELL THAT ENDS THE SAME

"Here's a new (?) constraint to play with," Anilwrites. "All words must end in the same letter. E would probably beeasiest, but t chose Y in honour of Mary to cast the first stoney. Asoften happens in these affairs, her little lamb got transmogrified intoanother creature, this time a donkey (hee-haw). If Mary were AustralianI'd have used wallaby or bilby."

 MARY FUNKY DONKEY STORY Any Mary say, tiny ivory donkey obey. Mary journey, donkey journey. Mary scholarly, donkey followy. ("Oy! Nay! Noway!") Schoolgirl/boy bevy play, gay, say "Donkey funny!" 

"If you disapprove of non(ce)-words, omit 'noway' andchange 'follow'y' to 'falsely scholarly' or anyterm of your choosy. How about another one, Dave and readers?"

Well, who could resist a challenge like that? /put my computer topaper and came up with the little lamb below. The original Mary and herlamb must be the most parodied poem in logology, written in at least 50literary constraints, from an E-less lamb to a palindromic lamb. Now,dear reader, read the lamb with E at the tail end. of each word, and.then take your turn. at creating a lamb.

 MARIE, LAMBIE: THE TALE Marie, she see little lambie. Fleece white like ice, Everywhere Marie flee, The tambie be there twice. 

~ WHY SO FEW ODD AND EMENWORDS?

Anil has caught below two of the more frazzled of Mary's Lambs:"Surprisingly few words or longer lipograms can be made fromletters exclusively spelled with only-the odd or with only the even.letters of the alphabet. Why is neither half good anagram material?Naturally the even letters, being vowelless, should -have none .(exceptnth), but why not the vowel-laden odd letters? It's the consonants.The best word-forming consonants except s are evens (d h I n p r t),hence wasted without any vowels, and they leave the odds poor in goodconsonants (c m s w). With the 13 odds (a c e g i k m o q s u w y) theonly believable pangram I found was this slice-of-life narrative:"Coy Gem!" I squawk. (praising her vociferously) Much moreforced is this hard-earned and hard-to-read odd letters lipogram parodyof Mary's Lamb.

 Mawy mamas warn, 'is skim is wi as smow (ice). Ewewea Mawy goes, warn is suw go. Wam comes scoo--is sock agamc ye game! Makes kigc mock warn, squeak gioy. 

"To help restore a little (in)sanity and balance to theodd/even paradox,/took on the perilous task of making sentences andother lipograms from the vowelless even letters (b d f h j I n p r t v xz). The challenge is to make the invisible inferred vowels as obviousand unambiguous as possible, as well as best "covering" forthe missing consonants. The peril proved real and all I came up with wasthis disaster (Mary had to change her name to Betty):

 Bt hd lttl lb, th flz vz vt z zn, 'N' r-vr-vr tht Bt vnt, d Ib vz zr t fltr. Lb fllr hr t zhl n d, vhz z "nt n!" Lb zt pplz t lff n pit z lb n zhl. 

"This Kickshaw is offered as a cautionary tale to logologistsnot to be too foolhardy in forging new front tears."

~MONIQUE AND THE SIX OUTLEX

"The letters J K Q V X Z are ill-loved by Englishlogologists," Anil believes. =They are awkward troublemakingoutlaws, aka outlex, 'lex' doubling up as both law (Latin) andword (Greek). They total 23% of the alphabet, yet as initial lettersaccount for only 4% of the dictionary, with a similar low fractionexpected overall. Thus they flagrantly violate the law of averages, andfor this they get put away for long sentences. Being a softie, I feltthey deserved their fifteen minutes of fame (for extremely slowreaders), and-feature them-in yet another constrained-parody of Mary Hada Little Lamb. The constraint is that every word contain at least one ofthese six letters, and all six be used. It wasn't as hard as itsounds. It was harder. Just kidding, it was easier, as my easilyproduced and easily bettered effort betrays.

 Monique's milky-quitted kid joined Monique's journeyseverywhere. Unexpectedly, kid joined Monique extracurricularly, Violating jurisprudence. Juveniles mocked kid jazzily. 

"Have a go. Can you do one with JQXZ? I couldn't. Maybe ifthe lamb were a baby ox, quoit or zebra. What if you add W, which is acommon first letter but probably rarer than K or V internally?"

~HAIKU SCHMAIKU

Traditionally, haiku are poems with two primary constraints. Theyshould be about or evoke the seasons, and they should be of the 5-7-5 or17-characters structure, in English construed as 17 syllables. Anilwrote the following, which meets both criteria. He went above and-beyondthe call of duty with the seasonal constraint.

 Fall fell, winter went, Spring sprang, Summer summed it all. (Need more seasons here.) 

~ BEST WISHES from KATH and KIM

Here's a message Anit wishes to relay to our readers from Kathand Kim, an Oz IV show (copied in the US):

"May you have a long and preposterous life."

~A CLASSIC DOUBLE DEALER

sneak = snake

Anil points out that "this well known definitive anagram, inaddition to being a single letter metathesis or backward ostrichanagram, has the unusual property that the words are synonyms both asverbs and as nouns yet with different meanings, in parallel. As verbsthey are metaphorical synonyms: sneak = snake along silently from bushto bush. As nouns they are parallel derogatory synonyms: sneak = snakein the grass. Their parallel meanings go back at least to Shakespeare.Both origins relate to creeping, snake originally from snail,surprisingly. Yet they seem to be unrelated etymologically, at least asfar back as Indo-European where they also have similar but differentspellings, (s)negos/(s)nogos (snail, snake) vs. sneig/snig (sneak,creep). Yet in Old Norse snail was snigill. A doublet? Or were theyrelated after all, despite no cross referencing in Web3 or ChambersDict. of Etymology? Perhaps even earlier-than l-E? Was the sneaky snakein Eden actually a snail? Creepy."

~ SMYNONYMS--A SELF-DEFINING PALINDROME:

palindromists: "St. Simo Rd. N. I lap."

Anil explains that "I go down St. Simo Road North then make afull lap and in the end come back by St. Simo Road South to where Istarted. Saint Simo is, of course, the patron saint of palindromists, orof simolarity by virtue of reversal."

~ MORE NAUGHTY SLANG

Anil writes that "Jeff Grant's recent daring revelationsof some of the filth in Jonathan Green's The Cassell Dictionary ofSlang opens the door for another select group therefrom, aided byGreen's categorised slang compilation Slang Down the Ages (London:Kyle Cathie, 1993). The following, among many others, all meanmasturbation: Onan's Olympics (punishable by death! Genesis 38:8-10)

 one-legged race paint the ceiling choke the chook bequeath one's genes kilt-some babies. 

~ FOR THE QUATTUORDECILLIONTH TIME

Anil and I collaborated on the following big number palindrome. Hereit is, followed by an explanation.

"No ill ice, Dr.! Out!": Tau, quattuordecillion.

(A patient identified as Tau, speaking for "a quattuordecillionothers," demands that the doctor quit giving them contaminated orharmful ice [or amphetamines?] and leave them atone.)

~ O DOOR!

"Con yoo rood thos sontonco?" (Anil turned all the vowelsinto O in this Ovation.) "Ot's got oll tho vowols roplocodwoth o's. O bot yoo coold wroto o wholo novol thos woy ond ot wooldbo protto ooso to rood.

Stotos: Oowo, Goorgoo, Ondoono, Oilonoos, Moono, Monnosoto,Looosoono, Wostorn Oostroloo.

Foor scoro ond sovon yoors ogo, oor forofothors brooght forth ....Mo hoort loops op whon 0 bohold o roonbow on tho sko...

So who do wo bothorhovong fovo ond ono holf vowots? Somo longoogosdon't hovo ono.

Sonco rolo, Onot

(Sorro, door roodor, bot ot's o hord hobot to brook onco yoogot goong.)"

~ THE LONGEST PALINDROME

Pan, snap, pan, snap; pan, snap, pan, snap, pan, snap ... etc.

Anil describes this as "Rapid photography or filming. It can berun on and on and on into a record-setting movie-length palindrome. Eatyour heart out, Jeff."

~ PALINDROMIC REPLY

In response to Anil's longest palindrome in English, here isthe longest in Spanish. It, too, can be extended in both directions toinfinity. "Como" can mean "as" and "Ieat." It would translate into English in the following way:"... I eat as t eat as I eat as I eat..." Is there anotherword in any language that would work like this?

... como como como como como como como como como ...

~ PALINDROME SQUARE

Par-in model led omni-rap p q

on relap 'mid dim, paler "no palindrome", p q (p)

"Palindrome and four anagrams thereof (ps and qs)," Anilpoints out, "team up into a single sentence made up of two p-q palsplus the mother word. It describes the omni-praise for even'par' palindromes because they fold back on themselves(relap), like good pats everywhere, as everyone knows. This sets themapart from all the dull non-palindromes they find themselvesamidst."

~ BEDROOM DRAMA

Pillow, ill pow-pow, ill wollip.

"I this a new form?" Anil wonders. "It's ahybrid palindrome, a word reversal sandwiched between a letter reversalwhere the former is an anagram of the latter. It's the story of apillow fight, or perhaps of a lovers' bedroom fist fight--or worse!Wollip is the phonically correct spelling of wallop. A pow-pow is apowwow gone wrong."

~ FFFAAASSSTTT DEPARDIEU

Anil selected this excerpt from article 6 April 2013 about bad boyGerard Depardieu:

"The actor, 64, was detained in Paris in November after fallingoff his scooter which he had been driving while more than three timesover the limit." (How did he survive at that speed!?)

~ TRANSADDITIONAL IRISH

A logological observation by Anil: "The Irish Prime Minister iscalled the Taoiseach and the Irish parlaiment the Oireachtas. TheseIrish-English terms are Irish borrowings. They are obviously related;but in a most unusual, fragmented, non-conspicuous manner. Yet thelatter is a transaddition of the former, adding an R. I bet DarrylFrancis has noted this before."

~ ANAGRAM POSER

Anil discusses anagrams: "It's generally recognised thatthe longer a word, phrase, sentence or verse is, the more likely it isto be anagrammable into a good 'definition' or-restatement ofitself in different words. Extrapolating to extreme length, how farthrough could a whole book be anagrammed into another' book of thesame size, language and-type of text (fiction, chemistry, etc)? 50%?99%?

"Anagramming means taking the entire letter pool of book oneand drawing down on it to construct book two. Would it be random withrespect to which letter or type of letters would run out first, asintuitively expected? Not if mixing types or languages. For example anEnglish book anagrammed into a German one would run out of-Ks and Zsfairly quickly. Two German dictionaries averaged 5.03% K pages and 3.82%Z, while two English dictionaries averaged only 0.87% K and-0.25% Z.Spanish surnames are also-heavily into (terminal)-Zs: Cruz, Diaz,Gonzalez, Lopez, Marquez, etzc."

~ SIX ENGLISH-ROMAN EQUATION PALINDROMES AND ANAGRAMS

Anil provided some Pals (5), which are all-bold, and Anagrams (5),which are half-bold. But first, a bold old non-Roman hom*ophone.

666 Sick, sick, sicks! Six = a I+V=VI axis, or simply I + V = VI. Six (Vt) is X - IV, or Six (VI) is Xt - V, or simply VI = X - IV, or VI = XI - V. VI - II = IV. Six = X- "I's" (It is X - IIII. + It's II x III.) Six + three = ? There's IX. Six x three, o genii, = IX + IX, or's eighteen. 

~ POSSESSIONS

Susan Thorpe has compiled an A-Z list of personages who haverelations, entities, or taws etc., linguistically linked to them. Theletter X is the most difficult, and only one has been found so far. Canreaders find more for X?

AARON'S-ROD, ADAM'S APPLE, ADAM'S R-1B, AESOP'SFABLES, ANNIE'S SONG

BAILEY'S BEADS, BANQUO'S GHOST, BOYLE'S LAW,BURKE'S PEERAGE

CAESAR'S WIFE, CHARLEY'S AUNT, CLEOPATRA'SNEEDLE,

CONSTABLE'S HAYWAIN

DONOVAN'S REEF (film), DOWN'S SYNDROME, DRAKE'SDRUM

EARL'S COURT, EVE'S THREAD (plant)

FINGAL'S CAVE, FINIAN'S RAINBOW, FINNEGAN'S WAKE,FOUCAULT'S PENDULUM

GRAY'S ANATOMY, GRAY'S INN, GREGORY'S GIRL,GULLIVER'S TRAVELS

HADRIAN'S WALL, HALLEY'S COMET, HARRY'S GAME,HERNANDO'S

HIDEAWAY, HOWARD'S END, HUBBLE'S TELESCOPE,

IMOGEN'S FACE (British TV), ISAAC'S RAM (a wine)

JACOB'S LADDER, JENKIN'S EAR, JOYCE'S ULYSSES

KELLY'S EYE, KEPLER'S LAW, KING'S RANSOM, KING'SX, KNIGHT'S TALE

LARA'S THEME, LIEBIG'S CONDENSER, LINCOLN'S INN,LOTT'S WIFE

MARLEY'S GHOST, MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MONTEZUMA'SREVENGE, MORTON'S FORK, MUNCHAUSEN'S SYNDROME, MURPHY'SLAW

NELSON'S COLUMN, NEWTON'S APPLE, NEWTON'S RINGS,NOAH'S ARK

OCCAM'S RAZOR, OFFA'S DYKE, OHM'S LAW, ORION'SBELT

PANDORA'S BOX, PARKINSON'S DISEASE, PLATO'S REPUBLIC,PYTHAGORAS'S THEOREM

QUEEN'S BENCH, QUEEN'S RULES

ROSEMARY'S BABY, RORKE'S DRIFT, RYAN'S DAUGHTER

SMILEY'S PEOPLE, SOLOMON'S SEAL (plant)

TARZAN'S REVENGE (film), TURNER'S SYNDROME

ULRICH'S PERIODICALS DICTIONARY, ULZANA'S RAID (film)

VALENTINE'S DAY, VENUS'S COMB (a-cowrie shell)

WELLINGTON'S BOOTS, WHEATSTONE'S BRIDGE

XANTHIPPE'S SHREW (a species of mammal)

YOUNG'S EXPERIMENT

ZERMELO'S WELL-ORDERING THEOREM, ZIPF'S LAW, ZORRO'SMASK

~ NEW BOOKEND WORD--READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Rich Lederer tells about his latest find: "Today I discoveredwhat may be a new bookend word. In our book The Word Circus, wepresented 14 eight-letter bookend words that house a four-letter word inthe middle and another four-letter word formed from the-bookends of thefirst and last two letters of the full word. Examples include betrayer =tray + beer and demeaned = mean + deed.

"What I found this afternoon is the 12-letter wordchemotherapy, with the six-letter mother in the middle and twothree-letter bookends yielding cheapy, which is a recognized variantspelling of cheapie, a penny-pinching person or an inexpensive, ofteninferior product."

~ ELEMENTAL SYMBOLS

Rich talks about the elements of wordplay: "As far as I cantell, the longest words composed entirely of elemental symbols from theperiodic chart are nonrepresentationalism (22 letters),thermophosphorescence (21), professionalisation (19), and, boasting 18letters each, nonpersonification, oversuspiciousness, insusceptibilitieshypertechnicalities, Constantinopotitan, superingeniousness,nonrevolutionafies, supraconsciousness, and irresponsibilities.

"A dozen elements can be spelled entirely in symbols from thePeriodic Chart: ArSeNiC, AsTaTiNe, BiSmUTh, CARBON, CoPPEr, IRON,KrYPtON, NEON, PHOsPHORuS, SiLiCoN, TiN, and XeNoN."

~ THE BEs ARE BUZZING

"This hive is buzzing with BEs," Ray Love believes"There are over 60 of them. Note that a few names near the end arecapitalized."

BE-GINNINGS

(To-Be or not to Be. That is the question.)

"Below are 15 playful questions that include words that beginwith. the sometimes superfluous prefix BE. Some are beguiling, some arebewildering and others are betwixt and between. Some are-beyond belief,but all belong before or behind and beside each other. Now I believeit's time to behold the bedazzlement so I better begin because mybrain is becoming befuddled. On-my behalf, please don't begrudge mybest efforts."

 If seas can becalmed and skies can beclouded, can rain befallen?If watches can bejeweled and luggage can bestowed, can laundry soapbetide? If lights can bedimmed and eggs can bedeviled; can fast foodbetrayed? If Santa can bewhiskered and packages can beribboned, canChristmas becoming? If bus fare can betokened and alarm clocks can beset,can town criers bewailed? If martinis can bestirred and beer canbeheaded; can drunks besotted? If reputations can besmirched andlanguage can befouled, can ill gains begotten? If toes can benumbed andaches can bemoaned, can tails bedraggled? If women can belaid andpregnancies can belabored, can babies beheld? If movies can berated andgolf scores can belied, can poets bemused? If sugar can besprinkled andautumn can befall, can flowers begonias? If midgets can belittled andfingerpaint can besmeared, can pugilist bedecked? If photographs canbetaken and words can bespoken, can Facebook befriended? If Hazel canbewitched and Elmer can beFuddled, can Eriksson belief? (No, but he can be Leif.) If Satan can beDevil and Christ can beJesus, can William beholden? Well I'll bedamned, how befitting thatt can begone! Ray beLoved 

~ NO RHYMERS

Here is Ray's answer to the age old-problem, ofunrhymeability.

 Month and silver have no rhymers Or so it's said by oldtimers. For purple it's not true. Here, I'll prove it to you:What will keep a baby from turning purple After nursing? A burp'll.

~ BUMPER STICKER

"I saw a bumper sticker the other day," Ray reports."It read, 'I took the road less traveled ... now where thehell am I?' An oldie but goodie! Needs to be passed aroundagain."

~ INSCRIPTION

Ray sent the following inscription for a newly published book.It's very colorful. With the availability of desk-top publishing,Ray should sell the inscription to people who've just had a bookcome out. Perhaps this could be a best-selling inscription.

 May all your skies be blue. May all your lights be green. May allyour hats be white, And may all your books be read! 

On the other side of the coin, here's a parody I wrote as myinscription for Ray's inscription.

 May all your blood be blue. May all your little men be green. Mayall your wash be white. And may all your necks be red! 

~ DOUBLE TRIPLE PLAY

A few years ago I found three words (on the left diagonal below)that have different pronunciations of NG in the middle of the word. Thewords result from two successive additions to the initial letter ofANGER, the starting word. I found a twist that doubles the triple playof letters. In this new set, the second addition is placed after thefirst letter. Otherwise they both start with ANGER and they have thesame pronunciation pattern, as shown in Webster's Third. Can anyonefind another example for ANGER or a similar example for a differentstarting word? Or is this progression unique?

 ANGER HANGER GANGER CHANGER GRANGER 

~ PHILOSOPHICAL TURKEY IN-THE STRAW

I wrote this poem a few decades ago, and t recently-rewrote -it. Ifyou would like to put in your own two cents worth, just pick twophilosophers and write away! In any case, read it as if you. weresinging, it--or really do sing it!

 If you wanna get some knowledge But you don't know where to start, Read an existential essay By Jean-Paul Sartre. If you think that life is wonderful And everything is peachy Well, open up a book or two By Friedrich Nietzsche. Being and essence Dada da da Being and essence Dada da da If youdon ? know Who you might be Then you'd best try Nothingness And youwill see If you're hungry for religion And you wanna eat a bagel Take a bite of luscious cream cheese From the mouth of dear old Hegel If you swig a drink of water From a cracked baptismal font And your mouth is still as thirsty Say a Hail Mary to Kant Being and essence Dada da da ... If you're feeling kind of skeptical You oughta leave the room And find a place to study In the home of David Hume. If you see that time is flying And you want a slower clock Here's the key: Just find a liberal Like what's-his-name-- John Locke. Being and essence Dada da da ... If your wife is swigging whiskey But she just won't share the bottle You can sober up her brain cells With the help of Aristotle If you're looking for the meaning Of a rotten old tomato. Just forget-it. There's no purpose. You can vegetate with Plato Being and essence Dada da da ...